Mini Post: Internet Illiterate

People of the Internet, let's clear the air shall we?

Recently, I've begun these mini posts. My cousin brought to my attention that my normal posts are both long and boring, he does not want to read a short story on this piece of shit, and he does not think other people do either. Okay. Your complaint has been filed with the management and they are fixing the problem slowly.

Thus, I've decided to begin a series of mini posts, most of which will be conducted from my phone. I thought this was cool. I was like, this is totally what iPhones are meant for and I am SO GLAD I'm using this TOTALLY AWESOME feature. (That's how I sound in my head, like the volume is being constantly adjusted incorrectly by a toddler.) And so, the previous post, was written in said fashion and I was completely blown away by how efficient and tech savvy I was for doing it. Plus, it was so short and poignant that it was sure to hold everyone's attention, even lazy assholes who don't appreciate comedic gold when it smacks them in the face. (Yeah, JESSE, you.)

Moving on, so as to keep your attention, dear readers. I was unable to post from my phone, using the phone format thing, because I had not previously logged on with a computer. This seems ridiculous to me, but I guess it is totally normal to people who use their phone for more than Maps, Instagram, Facebook, Calling and Texting. My iPhone however, is essentially a glorified vessel for failure. It mocks me every day.  Thus, I used Safari, as a normal web page and basically posted the way I post at home, only it was super tiny and difficult to read, and it TOOK FOREVER. There was a lot of cursing involved. Then the post sat for days and I was so proud of it, like I had created this tiny beautiful internet gem. Then my aforementioned cousin's wife found a typo. And the reality of my ineptitude settled full force. Because, when you have the vision of a bat, and the technological understanding of an 86 year old, posting from your phone is both unwise and destined for failure.

So, just to be clear, in addition to long winded stories, equipped with pictures and metaphors and hilarious links and basically anything and everything you could ever want in a blog, duh, there will also be grammatically incorrect, misspelled and lack luster mini posts every so often. Because that is what the people want, and I'm a people pleaser.